今天突然有很强烈的“I'm not taking control of my own life”的感觉,于是搜索一番,在 WikiHow 上找到这篇 How to Be Independent。Intro 中写道:
Being independent is a vital skill for people who want to take more control of their lives and feel like they don't need others to accomplish their goals.
看来确实算是对症下药。
读了一遍其中的条目,看似都是平实易懂甚至显得天真,但仔细琢磨却觉得每条都令我汗颜。试举几例:
Work your best and hardest to leave people saying "That person doesn't rely on anyone to do things for them. What a strong, independent person." (“开摆”可能是玩笑可能是非暴力抵抗的一种形式,但糊弄逐渐成了习惯也很值得警觉)
Save money. Save as much as reasonably possible. (最近支出上确实不太俭省)
Start on a career path. Experiment with different careers and find the one that you enjoy most. (学习十余年却很少主动思考职业规划,仿佛只要努力卷一切就能水到渠成。仔细想想是件可怕的事)
Find your passion. Something you are devoted to, whether it is a sport, girlfriend/boyfriends, music, a band, a form of art/dance, religion. Something that you do constantly that takes up some time and boosts your creativity. (其实 passion 这块我很不缺,缺的是把它们转化为一种日常行为 that takes up some time and boosts your creativity,而不是无聊的时候就诉诸一些没有营养的娱乐...无脑娱乐是很必要但终究不会带来快乐)
Be emotionally independent. Chances are, you depend on many people for emotional support. It may be your parents, a significant other, or good close friends. Although it is possible to continue to depend on these people for the rest of your life, it is in your best interest to realize that everyone in your life that you depend on will one day no longer be around. Some will move away, some will stop talking to you, and they all will eventually die. The only person that will always be with you is you. If you depend on yourself for support, you will never be let down. (有时陷入负面情绪而摆烂时会有种救世主情结。这么想还是消极了一些。归根结底,还是靠自己比较好)
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对于这种 Self-help / Personal Growth 的文章(以及视频等其它内容输出)我向来是有点不屑的。原因很多,但大家或许能够体会。我想说的是今天感觉这类内容还确实有点帮助(至少让我停止摆烂水了一帖,一天也不算白过)。其中有些或许显得简单而平凡了一些,但我会觉得这并非心灵鸡汤式的抽象和空洞,而是可实践、可具体化的。说了这么多,最终还是希望能做到 be independent and take control。与各位共勉。